I Wrestled with St. Augustine. He Won.

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I Wrestled with St. Augustine. Theology Won.

A candid theological reflection on wrestling with St. Augustine, 

Learning to accept correction, and discovering how grace still works through weaknesss

 

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Preamble: Entering the Ring

As I summoned the little theology I thought I knew to challenge the thoughts of a great theologian,
that same theology knocked me out — not a TKO, but a total KO.

Let’s just say this:
it takes a special kind of confidence to wrestle with the greatest theologian in Christendom.

I am impressed by my own precocity.

After all, if the Almighty Himself says,

“Come now, and let us reason together,”

then I believe I can sit and reason with anyone —
not out of pride,
but from a sincere desire to learn.

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On Learning, Correction, and Fragile Egos

Many people truly hate learning — or being corrected.

To them, correction feels like a repudiation of their entire identity.

They never say thank you when you point out an error they may have made.
Instead, they explain why they made the mistake.

Or worse — they ignore you entirely,
convinced in their minds that you “think you know everything”
and only corrected them to assert some superiority complex.

But we should be more like an assembly line.

Someone sends new information or a suggestion your way:

• Take it.

• Examine it.

• Refine it.

• Send it back — or build on it and pass it to the next person in line.

Keep moving.

Perhaps then, we’d actually grow.

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A Necessary Digression (This Is a Soliloquy, Don’t You Know?)

This pre-script — though twice as long —
is actually a post-script to the rest of the essay which follows.

I am building a soliloquy — don’t you know?

To operate in assembly-line mode, however, we must be specialists at something in particular.
At least, that was the case for a hundred years — until the information revolution changed all that.

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The Assembly Line, Corporate Edition

Back in the day, when I worked for a multinational,
I sometimes realised that what used to take an entire month
could now be accomplished in a day or two.

I’d issue RFQs to companies in China and Europe,
compare options,
make a decision,
place a requisition on EMA 3000
(yes — now you know where I worked),
and forward it to my boss — who may or may not approve.

All in a day’s work.

Just one of the benefits of information systems —
and of the assembly-line mentality:

Do your bit.
Move on.
Trust the process.

Of course, assembly lines sometimes produce defects.

In fact, there’s an entire discipline dedicated to studying why defects occur…

But I digress.

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Back to the Audacity: Me vs. Augustine

I was talking about St. Augustine — and my audacity.

I was reflecting on something Father Prince Chidi Philip wrote recently
about sinful priests consecrating the Eucharist,
and how the Eucharist is still fully consecrated
despite the priest’s sinfulness.

And I balked.

“No,” I thought.
“No!”

And that brings us — quite neatly —
to something I had written earlier, without explaining why.

Here’s what I wrote a few hours ago:

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Exhibit A: Peak Audacity

“I really, truly cannot accept that a priest in mortal sin can consecrate the Host.
In my opinion, St. Augustine was simply wrong.”

(See my audacity?)

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Exhibit B: Still Swinging

“Grace is not enough in such circumstances.
Grace completes what your human hands have striven to perform and failed —
not for lack of effort,
but for lack of strength —
because you are weak.”

(Still powering on at this stage…)

Then it hit me.

BAM! 💥

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Exhibit C: The Turn

“Then again… perhaps St. Augustine was right.
Mortal sin is a state we find ourselves in because we are not strong enough to overcome.
And so, grace is still available —
if we confess our sins…
Hmm.”

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Humble Pie (Served Hot)

“Maybe habitual sin is the true deal-breaker.
Not weakness once or twice,
but a pattern.
A refusal.

Make I rest small. (I get headik!)”

[When you hit the canvas. You go get headik]

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Conclusion: Counted Out

As I summoned the little theology I thought I knew
to challenge the thoughts of a great theologian,
that same theology knocked me out —
not a TKO,
but a total KO.

Don Kenobi | July-3-2025

#OldManInTheMolue #MyFrancisEssays #StAugustine #ChristianTheol#MolueMonologues #FaithReflections #TheologicalSoliloquy #ThinkingOutLoud #WrestlingWithTruthogy #GraceAndTruth #FaithAndReason #TheologyInPublic #Humility #LearningToLearn